The Barbary Coast

Oh, remember photos? And THE BOOTHS? These people finally stealth-visited me. It feels right (sorry Darcy). Because obviously there's a photobooth a couple blocks from me.

The Goodbye Sway

I had to say goodbye to Wisconsin. It was emotional, and re-motional. I think I may have let my body slip into her soul; I know I definitely was inside of her at one point. I probably cried a little too.

Here We Go Again.

The best thing about being unemployed is that when someone calls you on a Sunday night and asks if you want to go to Potosi, WI in the morning to celebrate Marty King Jr.'s, you can say yes. And mean it.

I did mean it, and in the morning we were on our way to Wisconsin's 3rd coast with both a soundtrack and clearly defined goals. Southwestern Wisconsin, the proudly unglaciated portion of the state, was at our fingertips!

With the Mustard Museum on the move, we took the opportunity  to explore some of the area's other treasures. We'd stop by The Dickeyville Groto on our way home (my 2nd visit!), but first we wanted a little history/mystery in our lives. Hello Belmont Leslie, WI, the birthplace of a great state! We came into this experience with a few misperceptions:

1. The State of Wisconsin's 1st capitol was never located here; Wisconsin Territory's 1st territorial legislature meet here for a month and a half during the winter of 1836. And then promptly voted to make Madison the new capitol. Not the same.

2. Despite the sizable Belmont Mound a mile down the road, seemingly the perfect place for a statehouse, the First Capitol buildings are not there. [see #1, RE: not a real capitol] Also, they're on concrete foundations.

3. The First Capitol Historical Site is not open between the months of September & June.

Despite these set backs we celebrated with a quick game of Wisconsin Territory Legislator & Indian.

After a quick stop through UW-Platteville (go Pioneers.), we were off across the ice-fogged hill & vale of County Rte. B. Our goal–The Potosi Brewing Company, home to Good Old Potosi beer and The National Brewery  Museum. What I was expecting: a brewery, a museum, a small town. What I was not expecting: the number of hollows we drove through/by. Take that glacial floe.

We never actually made it to the museum portion of the brewery, but they did give us a free slice of pie. Let's not call it a dream deferred, just a dream for another day.

Luck, Leis, & Looks

Last Wednesday I was lucky enough to get these two messages in short succession. By Friday we were headed up to Appleton, and beyond.

We took this canoe trip on Saturday and had so much fun we came back to The Beach Club again that night, this time by non-paddleable transportation. It was a double surprise party(!), which is 1 surprise party topped with another surprise party, not a party with 2 surprises.

Luckily someone was there to take our photo with our sweet, sweet swag on. Unluckily, we didn't follow the photographer's advice to take one medium-sized step to our left.

[Not pictured: W. Barnebey]

Katie was even lucky enough to sing a karaoke duet with The King/with her by herself. It would be untrue to say that the locals loved it; they tolerated it enthusiastically. The Green Bay girls couldn't get enough though.

Kermit sat me down in the morning for a talk. He wanted to swim, I wanted coffee. Luckily the lake was only 51℉; His frog parts wouldn't have survived. Instead we had coffee and huevos rancheros motuleños. They're a Barnebey Family tradition; if you've even been to a cabin with me I've probably made it for you.

We were on such a high after that breakfast we took on the fire tower without ropes or harnesses. Gutsy, but worth it for the peeps from the top.

Milk Marketing

I'll never understand the California Milk Advisory Board's decision-making processes behind airing its Happy Cows commercials in Wisconsin. Who do you think they're convincing with those smug cows anyway?


On the other hand, there're the ad campaigns of the Wisconsin Milk Marketing Board, which are usually amusing and highbrow, but rarely seen. Now they've gone and shown me 30 burgers I want to be eating right now. Make sure you take the time to meet Camembert(!) on burger #16—The Camelot.

Wisconsin News

MSN may have the 3rd highest average ticket price but I bet it has at least the 3rd most convienient bike rack also. Madison isn't exactly an airline hub of sorts, so it's not surprising that its flights aren't cheap. But how is Cincinnati #1? Doesn't a Delta hub do anything for you? Also, Atlantic City's average is only $100. But you can only fly to Florida (and possibly beautiful central Delaware), which isn't really that useful.

Milwaukee is revealed as the most coupon clipping-est city in the country (40% of adults say they do it). Followed closely by Rochester, NY (38%). The article correlates this to unusually high readership of Sunday newspapers in these cities. Which makes sense, but why is Sunday paper readership in these cities so high to start with? That's what I want to know.

BAshBay

The North Shore of WI pulled us in again as we were up By Ashland and Bayfield for the weekend. This time people did some running. As was discussed, I don't understand the whole running trend, and thus did not participate in that activity. On the other hand I did participate in our dramatic production: "Traveling With Judas", in which Joanna and I played the parts of estranged ex-fiances (she having slept with my father), who are traveling with the same group of friends. This was really just played out once, over the breakfast table at the Pinehurst Inn, and Joanna wasn't even there. But my new belle and I put on a good show.

Pictures & Movies

Madeline Island

To add to the growing list of accounts, recounts, raves, and reviews of the Madeline Island trip from Jobonga, Lucia, 11Frogs, and Loud: wbarnebey.com/madeline

OPTIMATED

The following is a work of fiction:

One night a guy went to the Essen Haus to meet some friends. They were drinking boots of Spaten Optimator. On the way home he got hit by a car. The end.

Also, there are some interesting ideas here.

Sheboygan Ho!

Most junk mail I receive quickly makes its way into my bag o'recycling that sits on a bench in my breakfast nook. Two pieces that never do are the Usinger's House of Sausage catalogue and the City of Sheboygan tourism brochure (pictured at left). The actualities of how I came to receive these quarterly publications is slightly suspicious, nonetheless I will not be canceling my subscription any time soon. More likely, I will be placing my summer sausage order sometime this week.

Vag on Wheels

Saturday night the roller derby was in town. And we were at the roller derby, surrounded by an eclectic mix of lesbians, hula hoop artisans, neon lights, a surprising number of cougars, a gorilla, and one almost naked fat man. I don't know how many people reading this have been to a roller derby, but it's quite an interesting event. Perhaps most interesting was the mob of people waiting to get into the arena an hour before the thing was supposed to start. I, as has become my habit of late, was not wearing a winter jacket, despite the temperature being in the teens.

Ostensibly, the action of roller derby itself consists of two teams of 5 women each circling a small flat track roller rink trying to get pasteach other. The real action comes when girls with names like "The Dutch Oven", "OctoPushy (#007)", "Harlot Brönte", "Backdoris", and "STank Girl the Stench Wench" stop being polite and start getting real. In addition to the women on women action during the bouts, there was halftime entertainment. First, hulahoopers (in from Chicago) did amazing things with their hoops. Then, in the mascot olympics, Snack (a fat pseudo-naked man in leather hot pants and chains) and Kid Electric (an 8 year old with ADHD, a pitchfork, and glo -sticks), among others, went head to head on the skate floor. Whoever thought a hyper 8 year old clothed in a green smock and tights would be a good mascot for a roller derby team was a genious.

Later, while running home from a bar, I came across the gayest fight I have ever seen. As I crossed Gilman a crowd poured out of the Blue Velvet to watch two guys yell and slap at each other. The fights at the roller derby were much more hard core than that.

Heavy, wet snow.

There is nothing better to build a snowball than heavy wet snow. But we'll come back to that. First we need to talk about the Text Message War currently being waged in WI.

It started last Wednesday night. The 21st of February. Mine was the first offensive move, a discrete text from a friend's phone sent without their knowledge. The content simple, 'I like you', the genius laid in the recipient. The blow back came Saturday during the send off of Rosemblat. A text came in from joanna reminiscing about my walk (and other, more personal things). Soon she was reading that I LIKE HER ALOT. Unfortunately for my adversary, that's actually true. And yes, in that way. What I was not counting on was an "I like you" texted several hours later, to a much more vulnerable target. It has yet to be determined what the long term effects of this latest "I like you" will be.

But back to the snow, and the snowballs. Close your eyes and imagine with me... It's 2:15 AM on a Sunday in Madison, WI. The city is in the middle of a blizzard. The roads are non-functional, the buses are not running, and it's bar time. The influx of warm, intoxicated bodies onto the street quickly results in an all out snowball fight between the two sides of State St. And what a fight it was. Now, I've been a part of some fairly large snow offensives in my time; Germantown is a tough neighborhood, not to mention the intensity of Scoggins' Ball, but this was of a new order. The perfect conditions of heavy, wet snow combined with a surfeit of enthusiastic participants produced the best snowball fight I can remember. I lost feeling in my hands on at least 3 occasions, nailed numerous targets (plus a bunch of defenseless girls), and took out 1 street light. That's a good Saturday night.