Rock, meet Paper.

I'm not wearing this shirt today. I'm not even writing this post today.

Holla at Me.

1 (800) WHITNEY 

Looking...

I need more Sch in my life.

Behold, for unto thee I give safe passage through the belly of the beast Bardeen.

Back at Rochester when winter hit we could retreat into one of the several systems of tunnels and crawl spaces that connect various groups of buildings on campus, like this one linking the main academic buildings. Wisconsin, in general, doesn't provide that option. Don't worry, I've learned to make do. I take great pride in the superiority of my routes and for the past 4 winters have proudly stalked the deserted back corridors of Bardeen's 1st floor on the way to and from the Linguistics Department in Van Hise.

This winter though, I've had to modify my route from lab/home/bus stop ⇒ Van Hise due to the Wisconsin Institutes for Discovery construction site that's blocking my way. This means I enter the above maze of corridors, dead ends, and medical oddities from a different point now. And on the basement level none-the-less. The hard part is that you've actually got 3 buildings to make it through, not just 1. There's Medical Sciences in the old state hospital building (c. 1920) facing University Ave., the Bardeen Medical Laboratories building that sits directly across Linden Drive from Van Hise, and squashed in between, the Service Memorial Institute. All interconnected in some places, but not others.

It took several exploratory sessions, but I have managed to map out the most efficient route from one end of this complex to the other (in yellow). As a bonus I found an alternate route (in green) that exits via a discreet 1st floor doorway directly to the University Avenue bus stop. Along the way I came upon a variety of interesting artifacts. They are documented below and mapped above. Besides the small cadre of poor souls who work in laboratories in the basements of these buildings I am fairly confident that less that 10 people in the world could navigate this route successfully.

☂ - The abandoned shower.  Sure, there are sciencey labs down here, but this one's just hanging out all by itself. Not even any instructions on the wall or an eye wash station to keep it company. Has anyone ever seen one of these used in real life? Darcy, you can assume that question is directed at you.

➟ - The ramp. One of the mysteries of these basements. Directly on the otherside of that door there is an identical ramp going back down. And a locked metal cage full of computer components from the 80's.

☣ FLUORINE!!

☞ ???

✈ and ∞ - Long dark hallways, full of junk.

✖ - Sometimes this machine is in use. Sometimes it isn't. It doesn't matter, I don't know what it does.

☤ - The Wall of Anatomies.  Hello, vaginal canal.

☀ - At this point you emerge suddenly from the gloom of SMI's basement to the light of day (via skylight to above courtyard), 2 hanging plants, and a large mirror to aid in navigating the upcoming 90° turn.

♣ - Any high spirits resulting from this emergence are quickly dispelled by this sad sight. 

♥ - Opposite the forsaken bubbler, an oversized wall map. I have determined it to be between 11 and 16 years old, printed sometime after the breakup of the former Soviet Union but before Zaire became The Democratic Republic of the Congo.

☢ - Next door, LASER LIGHT. 

✿ - Bench seats for those who need to rest.

✡ - As far as I can tell, some type of giant ventilation device. Early on in my explorations this was a useful landmark.

Φ - Rows (and rows) of green lockers. They all have locks on them. Who's using them?

(News! Sweaters!)²

Our apartment building continues to get 2* newspapers delivered to the front stoop every morning. One of them is mine. The other is not. Are you listening creepy guy upstairs‽ THE OTHER IS NOT. Now get off my back.

This green v-neck is a recent purchase out on its maiden voyage today. Leslie wanted me to get it in grey. As usual, I didn't heed her advice and got the green one. This strategy usually works out pretty well for me. She did find me a sweet jacket though.

*Don't be confused by the 4 you see here. That's just an effect of digital photography.

Fan Mail

The Kee is always getting praise from its readers. Now it's my turn.

Last weekend Leslie was in Madison for roughly 20 hours. During that time I managed to drop enough overt references to the blog to get her interested. Claiming neophyte blog status, she requested the web address delivered to her blackberry. An email was promptly sent. It's still unclear if she's already riding the L Train, or if she's yet to get on board that one too.

Grades:

Blog Appreciation: A+ (very appreciative. rated above favorite magazine & TV[!])

Initiative: BC (slightly above mediocre. requested email, but did so of own accord)

Random Variable: D (not random, should have been reading blog a long time ago)

Long Term Effects: AB (high likelihood of becoming regular reader, if she can figure out how to use computers)

Wabi-Sabi: A (this feels right)

Next up, Kelly, via Facebook:

As it turns out, Kelly is a relative of mine. Because everyone named Barnebey is a relative of mine, somehow. I had to draw a tree to get the connection clear in my head. We're 3rd cousins! (Yes, my grandfather's middle name was Thaine)

Grades:

Blog Appreciation: A (hilarious, genius; both really good words)

Initiative: A+ (very high. independent googling of 'barnebey wisconsin')

Random Factor: A (despite [previously unknown] family relationship, completely outside existing circle of friends/acquaintances)

Long Term Effects: A (already demonstrating commitment with reference to both current and past posts)

Wabi-Sabi: A++ (chock full of unexpected internet magic; awesomeness)

1-Wheel Drive Traction Control

Forecast: snow, 8" +

City of Madison: Snow emergency.

Madison Public schools: cancelled.

Preferred method of transportation: unicycle