Gone Down to Jers

This one time I took the bus up to New York to meet Tommy for his friend Jess's birthday. And then when I finally got there we immediately got onto her birthday party bus and set off for Atlantic City, because I was late and Jersey is always looking for a party. And of course by party bus, I mean a retrofitted Winnebago. With a non-functional mini-stereo cord. First stop: the Jersey City Best Buy.

By the time that was taken care of our 40s were gone, I'd already gone to the bathroom once, and Tommy had started demanding Ron-ron juice. Luckily somebody had brought the Four, and in the elusive lemonade coloring too. 

What was waiting for us in AC? Providence—"The premier nightlife spot in Atlantic City." In The Quarter. Little did I know that a bar in a mall in Atlantic City wouldn't let me in because I was wearing sneakers. It could have been worse, I could've been wearing an oversized shirt too. At some point there was a plan to sneak Tommy's shoes back out of the place for me. I don't think I was a big fan of that plan because I disappeared into the back hallways instead.

The good news is that I found a back door into Providence, past the bouncers. The bad news is the 2nd entrance desk, which I hadn't planned for. And the security guy who yelled out, "He's got sneakers on, get him outta here!" That sent me back into the nether regions, and eventually to the roof. Looking back on it, ending up on the roof of The Tropicana Resort & Casino isn't all that surprising. You always want to attain the high ground in these types of situations. Plus, I really like roofs. Look at all these terrible pictures I took while I was up there!

Don't think this is over yet though. Upon my descent I ran into Tommy again. Just sittin'. Not looking for me, just hanging out by the fountain. Then he gives me his phone and walks away. He may have been going to the bathroom, I'm not sure. I am sure that that was the last time I saw him or anyone else from our party. And that I had his phone, so I couldn't call him. 

Eventually I gave up waiting, and went looking. All I found was this on a men's room stall. The best case scenario is that someone had really muddy shoes. In the bathroom of an indoor mall. There are also other scenarios.

Here's what happened next. I spent 30-40 minutes walking around this place, Jersey on all sides, before realizing I was alone, it was 4:00 o'clock in the morning, and the party bus was long gone. You might not think it at first, but Atlantic City really isn't that bad of a place to get left behind by a party bus. I mean the emotions are hard to take, but at least there's a train station. And a $10 train to Philadelphia. So really, it's sort of right up my alley. Or at least inside my wheel well. 

At 8:00 this morning I walked from the train station to Newhall street, ate a sandwich, plugged in Tommy's phone, and went to bed. Look at that light.

Wanna know something funny? The Winnebago broke down on the way home. The heat stopped working, the state troopers were called, and the McDonald's Burger King's milkshake machine wasn't working. Also, it turns out I got home first. So, suck it Schwenn.

Makin' a Day of It

At the beginning of August I found myself in Philadelphia, seven cancelled plane tickets to my name, and no distinct plan of how to get home. Katie was in a similar situation, but with fewer cancellations and more plans—The Train! It takes exactly 24 hrs and 7 mins for Amtrak to get you from Philadelphia's 30th Street Station to Milwaukee's Intermodal Station, so we decided to make a day of it.

It all started on a Wednesday afternoon a couple blocks from my parents house. At SEPTA's Queen Lane Station we climbed aboard the 12:09 R8—a commuter rail, the 1st of what wold become a long line of public transit. The 2nd came 24 minutes later as we pulled out of Philadelphia on Amtrak's Pennsylvanian, an inter-city rail. After a quick debate concerning our train drinking habits (covertly vs. overtly) we poured some whiskey into our iced tea and broke out the snacks on the train. 

Snack #1: Hot Fries

Other activities included watching "Mad Men" episodes in classic sepia mode, brushing up on our advanced business short-hand, photographing America's train stations, snacking, eating, snacking, snacking, and then snacking again later.

Harrisburg, PA: A Capital City

Snack #2: Blow Pops

Lunchables: American-fare, more whiskey. 

Snack #3: Goldfish (Flavor Blasted)

[Not Pictured: Snack #4: Beef Jerky]

Snack #5: Pretzel M&M's

8:05 PM: Pittsburgh and a 4 hour layover. Just the amount of time needed to add a couple more forms of transit to our repertoire, eat a home cooked meal, and debate the merits of wooden toilet seats vis-à-vis water transportation—The T across the river (light rail, our 3rd variety of rail!) and the Monongahela Incline up the hill (Funiculì, Funicular).

At 11:59 PM we boarded the midnight train to Chicago, fell asleep, and woke up in Indiana. I'm not going back to Indiana. In Chicago we breakfasted on coffee and bagels in the sun, saw a Schmaling, missed a Skoczen, and jumped on the Hiawatha headed north. Milwaukee, here we come.

The final route, in two pieces:

Are you getting a load of my cross-country train travel luggage? They're perfect for toting a month's worth of clothes or all 4 of your bowling balls.

Lies & Betrayals

Last Saturday I made a pretty firm commitment to surprise the city of Boston this weekend. I might have been drinking at the time, and have my 4th mustard-colored outfit of the day on, but I was adamant it was going to happen. And on the train too! 

Things that I knew, and was OK with: 

⒈ Amtrak does not come to Madison.

⒉ Amtrak takes 24 hrs. to get from Milwaukee to Boston.

⒊ Amtrak cost $40 more roundtrip than a direct flight.

What I assumed:

⇒ Amtrak has wireless interent.

What I learned Sunday morning:

☞ Amtrak offers wireless internet on 2 routes—the Downeaster from Portland, ME to North Station in Boston and, just recently, the Acela.

☞ Assumptions make an ass out of you and Amtrak.

Later Jesse.