What can I get for you today?

Handies

Ever since I saw it done for Wisconsin I've been claiming that more states should be represented by hands. Maybe I just haven't met the right people, but Pennsylvania could work really well. And how else is anybody going to know where Altoona is? Then this post from StrangeMaps popped up on my googlereader with a hand job for both peninsulas. Toché 'Ganders, touché.

So, what other states should be making maps with their hands? Here's couple that already are:

Wisconsin: America's Other Mitten

West Virginia: The Panhandle of Love

Alaska: Have you met my island chains?

Texas: Two for T

Maryland: The Chesapeake Claw

Good for them, but why aren't these guys doing it too? 

Pennsylvania: Penn's Smokestack 

Virginia: This Little Pinky Seceded  

Oklahoma: "Indian Territory, Scout's Honor"

Massachusetts: Welcome to Worcester 

Washington: The Massachusetts of the West

Idaho: Canada's Poker

Hawaii: Five-0

It's time we all start to do the Helen Keller and talk with our hands. Especially you Washington State, you've got a great hand-shape. Get with the program. 

Mr. Van Winkler Tours America - '010!

Don't worry, if you miss him tonight you can still see him next month in Appleton.

From Lincoln to Washington: An American Journey

Washington was having a bit of a tourist problem while we were there last week; its outbreak of cherry blossoms wasn't helping anything either. Life may be full of hassles, but I really don't want those things to become one of mine. Luckily we had always planned to do our best to not see anything anyway.  Abstinence never actually works out though.

The Lincoln Memorial is a nice enough building, but really, what're you actually going to do there? Count the columns again? No, you're gonna want to get right in there and sit on its face for a picture. Maybe even do some typing, if you happen to be carrying your portable typewriter. Plus, that'll form a protective buffer between you and them in no time at all.

L E G I S  ⬆  L A T I V E

Next up: W's Obelisk on the Axis. I dare you not to look at it.

Mall Walking, ever heard of it? It's a legitimate form of exercise in America. Get with the program.

BELIEVE IN YOUR DREAMS.

It'll Never Fit on My Shelf

I stopped by St. Vincent de Paul's this afternoon to see if I could pick up a fake book on the cheap to help me prepare for my new one-man show—Barnebey & the Bassoon: A Melodic Journey from Morrissey to Missy. No such luck, but I did come away with this frog-sized atlas for $3.00. It depicts the world as it was the year I was born. Peep those Antilles, there's nothing Lesser about 'em.


I wish I had also been in the market for another chair though. They were having a blue light special over in the furniture section: buy 1 get 1 free. In honor of Sarah Michelle Gellar's birthday.

Getting These Faces Back Together

Resurrection Geography

Did you know that D.C. used to be a perfect 10 miles²? It's not anymore, Virginia officially accepted their side of the Potomac back into the Commonwealth on March 13th, 1847. Back in 1790 though G.W. drew four nice straight lines on a map and then sent out a crack team of surveyors to put a rock every mile, separating out his new Jurisdiction of The United States from Maryland & Virginia. 

Our plan for Easter Sunday—an olde fashioned hunt for the 4 corner stones of Old DC. Which, after a brief period of reflection, was whittled down to—find the northern corner stone of Old DC. So Jeremy got out his maps, put on his headlamp, and we set off on the Metro.

After a series of mishaps in the tunnels below our capital we had successfully run down an up escalator, lost Jeremy 1 or more times, witnessed the near-smashing of a baby in a stroller, found Jeremy, and were on our way to Silver Spring, MD. Our quarry would be just a short ½ mile walk, but first Jeremy & Katie had to be convinced to walk the right direction. It took a guaranteed payment of $20/person if I led them astray to convince them to follow me instead. It's rarely a good idea to bet against my parallel parking or my sense of direction inside of a city.

And then we found it. Inside a little wrought iron fence by the side of a road. Off the beaten path, as well as any other kind of path, and half-buried in accumulated sediment.

The Daughters of the American Revolution could stand to devote a little more time to excavation.

Juris | Mar

We left an egg with a short typewritten note, Jeremy's email address, and a piece of candy inside for the next person who visits. It may or may not be during our lifetimes. 

What kind of stones did you find this Ēastre?

Also, remember this from a couple of months ago? Look at that 170 year old ghost of DC's square still showing up in 2009 DVD rental rates!