V-Ei Day

It finally happened.

Three months ago I bought a fake egg at the Iowa City Hobby Lobby. Since then my life has been consumed with plots, ploys, and poems; on Saturday morning, they all came to a delicious over-medium head.

In my latest attempt to get some white eggs into Martin's Deutsche Hände, I bought two dozens of them last week. Then claimed I had forgotten I had the 1st, and pawned off the 2nd to my egg-victim as an extra. As Saturday morning dawned, egg frying could be heard in the kitchen. Katie and I drifted in, feigning interest in the 4 eggs sizzling in Martin's pan. At this point I was crestfallen. I had been so sure he would finally get egg on his face, and yet no sign of the faux egg! Confusion reigned.

Then, on our way out the door, I ask: "Martin, how'd those eggs work out for you?".

Martin: "Oh, they were fine. Well, except for this one egg that wouldn't crack. I don't know, I tried hitting it really hard on the pan, but it must have been an unbreakable egg. So I threw it out."

[pregnant pause]

Whitney and Katie [with high five]: "Success!"

In Meiner Welt Nur Mit Dir Allein

Yes Ei Can

I do not like them, will.i.am. I do not like fake eggs and ham.

I tried to fry them in a pan, I tried to fry them on the sand.
I just don't like fake eggs and ham.

I should not, would not, put them in his hand.
I could not, should not, hide them by the Pam®.

I should try them in a box,
by the bread or by the lox.

If I hide one in the jam, will he need Diazapam?
Oh Shazzam!, should I make a hologram‽

Could I put one on a bar, could I hide it here or thar?
Would he try it at Iftar, should I send them to Qatar?
Or, just call the registrar?

I will not try them in a pan,
I will not fry them in the sand.
I will not put them in his hand,
I would not hide them in the jam.
I would not eat them at Iftar,
I would not eat them anywhar!

But Martin will.



# of frames: 30

Die Eiwaffe!

After 5 interminable weeks, Martin's Brown-Egged reign of terror has finally come to an end. He's been buying browns, and only browns, ever since I found this fake egg in an Iowa City Hobby Lobby. It's like he knew I was scheming up an egg swap and was just buying brown to spite me. Ach!

I figured him out though. All it took was a late night egg tossing/squeezing session to get rid of the last of his latest brown dozen. Which provided the perfect pretense to give him my eggs as replacements. And so operation Porcelain Egg begins...

[03.11.09 09:40] Update: Subject fried 2 eggs this morning. Appears unaware of swap. Observation continues.