Let's Talk About Blogs, Baby.

It's taken me a little while to find my words about last weekend. Now that I've got them though I'm going to use 'em.

The weekend started in The Kee Friday night for Schmatie's Sweet Sixteen Party. There were plenty of Scwepp's, Spark's, and Silver Bullets to go around; some were even convinced to take some Schitty Bombs, a drop shot of root beer schnapps in a pint of Schlitz. There's a reason they're known as Schitty.

Highlights included floor-dancing [below], drinking from the squirrel mug, an inexplicable power outage late in the night, and breakfast the next morning.

We couldn't waste too much time though, Joanna was due to show up in Madison in the near future. Ostensibly, she was coming to see me and/or make up for missing Katie's birthday. In reality it was because Sealander had made a spur of the moment 12 hr drive [add 15 minutes if you want to take the Canadian route] from Rochester, NY.

We got to Madison with plenty of time to make the 7:30 showing of Coraline in 3D ["The best movie I've seen all year(!), in 3D."]. The collection of child stealing she-demons, evil schnauzer-bats, button eclipses, and disturbingly proportioned body parts probably should have bumped this into the PG-13 category.

[Look at that turkey neck!]

Although we were excited about Sundance's amazing smoothies and wide variety of popcorn toppings, the thing that really made the trip worthwhile was the realization as we wandered back to the car through The University Bookstore that here lied the elusive and highly sought after Le Pen®.

[Katie, with pens]

After 15-20 minutes spent enjoying the wide assortment of colors and styles we made our decisions and began brainstorming things we could label with our new Marvy® products. We spent Sunday morning sitting in comfortable chairs, drinking coffee, and labeling maps.

[Canada, Europe, Africa, & the Periodic Table]

This may not seem like a fun time to you, but it is for us. I even played it on my birthday. There were some significant realizations too, namely: the relative positions of Whitehorse vis-á-vis Yellowknife, the capital of Macedonia (Podgorica), the location of The Orange River, Rutherfordium(!). Our mood was only enhanced when Joanna finally showed up. It didn't matter that she was 3 hours late; she came bearing gummy candies, cheese curds, a bottle each of Templeton Rye and goats' milk, an amish pickle, and a bag of frozen berries.

We immediately left for breakfast with Sealander and Brad. A Breakfast Scrabble event ensued in which FEAR-BONERTUB-SKI (a Polish container designed to hold fearboners) intersected INCHOATE-DRIHUMPER (a registered trademark for a person just at the onset of a dry humping act).

After breakfast we walked next door, purchased 4 bottles of cheap champagne, a 4-pack of sparks, and 4 40s. Later we picked up 2 gallons of orange juice. Then began an epic day of gaming, mimosas, and egg breaking. We started with a polite game of Jumbling Towers, moved on to a short-lived game of Bridge, progressed to an epic game of Apples to Apples To Go (100% New Card Content!), and finished the night off with a rousing game of Balderdash. Later in the night we played 4-Square egg toss in the street and read about how to squeeze an egg without breaking it.

Life skills that we learned:

➊ the correct ratio of champagne to orange juice is 4 bottles : 1 gallon.

➋ when betting shots of whiskey on your Apples To Apples cards, it is impossible for both of your cards to be picked first. If you bet on them both, you will lose. There is no other outcome.

➌ the White Kentucky [Iowan whiskey and goats' milk] ruins both the whiskey and the goat's milk.

➍ if you forget which definition you submitted during a round of Balderdash, and then proceed to vote for your own answer, you will be awarded one shot of whiskey by the DrinkMeister.

➎ it's completely possible to squeeze an egg without breaking it. But it only works with white eggs, and when you have paper towels handy.

What did you do learn last weekend?

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