Christmas is All Around.

Remember Christmas? I do. I've been forcing my family to postpone ours until January for a couple of years now. Someday they'll finally just admit that we celebrate The Epiphany now, '012 isn't that year though. Until then, it's Christmas in January. 

You know what Wisconsin does well though? Christmas. I mean look at this thing. Just the vest of the sweater‽ That's how you do Christmas. Even if I did have to sneak it into the Bolshevik Labour Celebration. 

It's not a one trick pony though. Not even a one trick pony wearing socks. First there was the Scalon party back in Madison. With the drinking, and the cheeses, and the hung over breakfasts. And the Draper Schwenn. That guy. I don't know what to do with him. 

Except take a picture with him. Cause he doesn't know how to do that yet. And it'll make you fell better about yourself.

Final stop on the Christmas trolley? Fond du Lac. Sorry, the FdL. One of these people is about to leave for Central India. No, it's not the girl in the purple hat.

It's not that dog either. I told her not to kiss me, little good that did me. It took her a while but she eventually wore herself out with all that lap-standing.

After that it was straight up lounging time. Couch lounging, chair lounging, floor lounging. It all happened. And it happened with socks on. Deal with it.

Remember, Big Cola wishes you a 3.30 liter Christmas.

Sweater-Off

Why am I upset? Because I didn't win, the Beige Blizzard did.

The Ws Christmas Spectacular

Upon arriving in Chicago, I walked over to meet Skoczen at her place of employ, The Lyric Opera. She libraries there. I learned to operate their comb-binder. Notice how my green sweater keeps my tie from impeding my work. It is both fashionable and functionable.

This was fun but we had errands to run and supplies to acquire. And who works on Christmas Eve anyway? Whole Foods was able to give us the opportunity to spend a lot of money on cheeses, alcohols, and the necessary ingredients for Celebratory Christmas Consommé, The Ws Famous Fiesta Bowl, and for tonight's as yet unnamed dinner. You should have been here. Joanna almost was.

[post-Consommé, pre-vodka]

After dinner we exchanged gifts. This was very European of us, but I was still wearing my tie, so it's ok. I got Skoczen David Byrne's book Your Action World. If anyone can ever explain what's happening in this book to me I will pay them at least $7.00.

[page 17: 'Jump Into Yourself']

I received a cocktail shaker in the form of a penguin! I've named him Clyde. Despite what it looks like, he will not pour your drink out his mouth for you. That would be classless. And Clyde is nothing if not classy (can you see his bowtie?).

As the night progressed we finished the champagne. Then the wine. Then a bottle of vodka. And tried to play 'Law & Order' the board game. This was challenging to say the least. We donned headgear. It still made no sense. So we took some photos. And that felt right.

On Christmas morning I woke up at 8:00 AM. Then I went back to bed. Around 10 I ventured out for some caffenine. This was the first time in my life that I had ever been out in the real world on Christmas day. There were so many non-Jews out! At Starbucks I purchased the largest container of coffee they would give me and received 2 compliments on my sweater.

After 2 large cups of coffee we opened presents. eBay Secret Santa is quickly becoming my favorite Santa. Look at how my muppet family is growing! [Not pictured: The Precious Puppy Pair paint by number watercolor set. Expect this to be featured at a later date.]

Wendy received a box full of cleaning supplies. She loves her half a bar of soap and face goop.

["Thanks Santa Joanna!"]

[Update: that wasn't from Joanna. We just thought it was for several confusing minutes. It's a good thing too, because a gift like that might not have earned her an invitation to next year's event.]

[Update #2: The 96 oz. of coffee are almost gone. I am not myself.]

Are you excited to see our Christmas Sweater Thursday post?

Price Check: He's 27

If you're reading this blog, you already know: I'm 27. It happened saturday night, sometime around 11/10 central. I passed that milestone alone, on my old curried leather couch, with some chinese takeout and a small leather pillow by my side. It was a reflective moment; a lot of really good things had happened over the past 30 hours:

☜ Joanna had acquainted me with another alternative menstruation device (A.M.D.), the PIMP. Only slightly less revolting than the Moon Cup, and just as terribly named.


"The fun colors and patterns keep me looking forward to the next party..."

☜ There had been a world geography quiz, allowing me to revel in one of my talents (i.a. geography/capitals, parallel parking, shellfish).

The winning entry, submitted by Schmatie, was lost in or around The Essen Haus. Instead, here is Martin's 2^nd Place submission. Africa, along with Eastern Europe and Central Asia, proved to be significant stumbling blocks for most in attendance. Not to worry, I'm currently working on a study guide to help with these problem areas.

☝ Beets!

☞ Beards, corduroy, jackets, elbow patches, ties, & sweaters. All in one place.

☝ A group march across Monroe St., with flags.

☜ Things in my 'stache.

Girls in 'staches. ☞

☝ Beer in boots; eye patches.

☜ A price check at the dollar store involving 2 cashiers, a trip back to the item's aisle, and at least 5 minutes. Turns out that cup was $1. Just like everything else in the store.

Final status of birthday 27: success.

For those unaware, there's some serious sweatering and awesomeness going on over at Mike D's blog.

Sears Bears (it doesn't rhyme)

At the start, our Sears Photo Technician seemed a little uncomfortable with 7 grown men coming in for a family portrait. She got over it. As will you. There are already plans to hang some 8x10s in the Piano Bar, maybe in the bathroom, but maybe over the bar. Where will you hang yours? If we come visit and it's not on display we will be upset. An interesting note: despite the fact that the plan was ugly sweaters, you may recognize several of the sweaters being worn from such events as Sweater Thursday '07-'08. Because, obviously, these are just part of my regular sweater rotation. And I'm OK with that.


The complete photo shoot:

Bears at Sears

Phone Redox

I was talking to Jobonga last night. During the course of our conversation, in which we both continued to claim that we had nothing to talk about, a couple of familiar topics came up.

1. Scrabulous: This is a big part of our lives right now. I am fairly proud of my record in Scrabulous. Of the 30 games I've completed I have only lost 1, to one Jessica Hindman. Jessica is studying non-fiction writing at Columbia and has the dubious honor of being one of only 2 people in the world that have incited my wrath during a Scrabble game (the other of course being Ms. Moschenross and her defiantly errant use of QUO ). On the other hand, I think I'm probably the only one to have done that to Joanna, I mean jobonga, with the infamous JANITOR play back in 2002. There was no illegality involved in that though, just coercion.

Anyway, this is the final board of my one loss (yes, I take pictures of my Scrabulous boards, just like my Scrabble boards). And it is quite possibly the most amazing scrabble board I have ever been a part of. The center horizontal wasn't crossed until the last 4 plays of the game. Stressful. Most importantly, notice I only lost by 3 points.


2. Ugly People: I saw a cute girl making out with a shockingly ugly boy yesterday on campus. It happened right in front of me and their visual disparity stopped me in my tracks.

3. Sweaters: Joanna still hasn't provided an accurate count of her knits, but after taking stock of my closet this morning I feel much better about my sweater position.

Meta-Sweata'

A simple white sweater, in front of my entire sweater collection.

Holiday Sweaters

Thursday night, and there were alot of sweet sweaters going on.

Friday Night Frights

What's a Friday night without waking up the next morning to a girl sleeping on your couch wearing your argyle sweater? Well, if she's from Jersey you're just glad she's not in your bed. Also, you start to worry about where your wallet is. Turns out I had lost my wallet, but the cause of that was no Soprano-ette in training. Rather, it was Leslie, who decided to take my wallet out of my pocket at some point during the night and then proceed to give it to some guy I hardly know. Funny. Not funny as in "Ha, that's funny", but more funny as in "Leslie I hate you." This situation was compounded by the fact that we were leaving for Chicago in an hour and the kid that had my wallet was in Reedsburg, WI. Nice.