Vomit in the Morning

Last night I was talking to Jobonga about her toothpaste selection when I heard someone puking outside my apartment. It sounded close, like right outside my window. That's disgusting, but also sort of funny. I wanted a picture, but couldn't see anything out the window. So I went outside with my flashlight and my camera to find me some regurgitate. Always risk adverse, Jobonga worried it was a ruse to lure me outside so someone could hit me over the head. That didn't happen, but I couldn't find my prize either. Until this morning:

Turns out it wasn't nearly as close to my window as I thought. I guess I was (mistakenly) assuming it was happening behind a bush, or in a corner, or somewhere not right on the sidewalk. Also, it happened twice. Classy.

In the midst of documenting this I noticed we have gotten a new "Flags Over Dane County" flag pot. I'm not sure how long it's actually been there, but there was already only 1 flag left. And that was on the other side of the street. I generally think this is a stupid idea, but I do look forward to watching people cross Monroe Street carrying a flag aloft while sitting at my desk. There will probably be pictures as I'm fairly certain that the intersection of the set of people who use flags to cross streets and the set of people who should be featured on You Shouldn't Wear That is pretty inclusive. Also, they probably find the following advice from the Dane County Safe Communities website helpful:

Tips for assertive but safe pedestrians

1. Point to the other side of the street with the flag high, while standing with at least one foot in the street (the legal trigger for drivers to yield). Look assertive!! If there's an empty parked car that can protect you, cross the parking lane in front of it so you are more visible to drivers.

2. Gauge the traffic in the lane nearest you, and make and maintain eye contact with the first driver who has time make a gradual stop (Cars take a long time to stop; at 25 mph allow 75 feet or about five car lengths, up to double that if you're doing this for the first time, if you're a slow walker, for speeders, or for bad weather conditions). Let cars who are too close to stop go on by.

3. Maintain eye contact with your selected driver; step out into his lane only when you are sure the driver is going to stop.

4. Safely cross the lane in front of the stopped car while looking for the first car in the next lane whose driver can easily stop. Then maintain eye contact with that driver. Move carefully in front of the new car across the lane as it stops. Repeat lane by lane until you have crossed all traffic lanes.

5. IMPORTANT: Whenever you can (without being distracted) give drivers a smile, a wave, or "Thanks!" to demonstrate to drivers that pedestrians appreciate their courtesy!

Remember that the flag is a helpful tool, but you still have to use normal caution. Don't ever step into the path of a car when you are not sure the driver will stop.

I'm sorry, but if you don't know how to cross a street without reading the instructions, you really shouldn't be doing it. Also, I'm not really sorry.

1 comment:

schmatie said...

Damn, I was really hoping to be the first to puke on your section of Monroe. You probably should have known it wasn't me because I only do that in broad daylight the following afternoon. I actually just did it on Albion following a very early Saturday morning dentist appointment. And, yes, CLASSY is the correct adjective to use.