It's not how old you are, it's how old you hear.

Created by Train Horn

My ears are leading the life of a much younger set of hairy fluid filled tubes. The Mosquito [above] is easy, and only buys me a couple of years at best. This nice little range of tones proved that I've got sensitivity up to at least 18 kHz. And thanks to this handy graphic from the NY Times, I figure that places me somewhere around a typical Miley Cyrus fan. Unfortunately, it does not allow me to compare myself to an average 25-29 year-old.

Maybe it's just a result of increased aldosterone production, but I like to think it's a reflex of a broader leitmotif running throughout my genetics. One thing I know for sure is that it relates to my evolved mandibular situation: no wisdom teeth, one 12 year-old molar. Take that tooth decay!

In conclusion:

Vision: perfect. 

Hearing: acute as a fennec fox.

Taste: refined.

Smell: untested.

Touch: no, thank you.

Teeth: 25

poll by twiigs.com

Who wants a pickle?

A couple days ago Martin and I rearranged some things in our apartment. Now there's much more room for me to sit [see above]. More importantly, The Pickle Chair, which had been relegated to an awkward spot behind the darting pitch, has been moved to a prime TV viewing locale. This has already improved my life greatly; my time spent sitting in its gentle striped caress has skyrocketed. I also feel confident that the updated card-playing alignment will prove to be a catalyst on that front as well.

Now if only Martin would stop buying brown eggs.

# of Frames: 36

From the pages of GQ...

GQ gave us their latest installment of the requisite semi-regular Men's magazine ode to breakfast this month. Their angle: "Breakfast, it's still regional!" They made at least one really good decision: Sophia's Bakery (a.k.a that hipster joint on E. Johnson). Famous for both outdoor dining and Breakfast Scrabble, they serve nothing that is not the best thing you've ever had. As long as you're ok with the tattooed Sophia judging your every move. And her ridiculously cute daughter touching your food before you eat it.

On the other hand, they seem to have made an editing error in their scrapple recommendation. Any fan of greasy ground pig parts knows that Pete's, not Little Pete's, is the best place to get your triglyceride fix. It's an understandable mistake though; Phila. has seemingly 50 eating establishments with "Pete's" in their names within a 3 mile radius of City Hall. And these two are in the same block of Fairmount; crazy‽ A rower would never had made that mistake; nor would one of Pete's waitresses who love when the rowers come in after morning practice.

Limburger‽ I don't even know her!

My Cheese of the Month delivery arrived yesterday and proudly proclaimed itself to be "for Valentine's Day!". Along with a wedge of Farmhouse Cheshire and a chunk of red pepper cacio de roma was a 1/2 lb. brick of limburger. Really? Limburger for Valentine's Day?

My defining limburger memories come from the ill-fated experience David and I had with a bottle of limburger we bought from Ghetto Weg's, c. 2002. It was a terrible decision and I think we're still both slightly embarrassed by our youthful naïvité. I wish I could move on, but that 'cheese' still haunts my dreams on occasion. And it still makes me very hesitant when dealing with even well respected limburgers like this one from Wisconsin. Luckily I have 4 months to get up my nerve. 

I already know what mustard I'll be using, I just need to stock up on pumpernickel and liverwurst.

Come Ride With Me!

Virgania Horsen isn't one of those college types that's going to talk your ear off. She will cut you a deal on a balloon ride though, and deliver your mail (early, or extra slow!). Just don't expect to use a credit card; she only accept stermps.

Stermps: like stamps, only larger.

How much larger?

1 stermp ≡ 3.38 stamps

Do you trust you?

Just a simple white knit, an apple, and a date with destiny. Oh, there's a picture of a wolf back there too.

# of Frames: 18

Wisconsin Votes! Whitney Gets a New Shirt!

Thanks to Wisconsin's liberal voting laws we not only have one of the highest voter turnout rates in the country (screw you Minnesota) but we also just have a lot of elections in general. Today was our non-partisan primary. Here I am on my way over to The Blessed Sacrament Catholic Church to vote for a State Superintendent of Public Instruction and a County Circuit Court Judge:

It was also the day that our new L.S.O. shirts came in.

This still blows my mind.

Suzhou, China to my door, ~ 7,633.13 miles (111,953 football fields), 41 Hours.

What was it? This little creation of the Saturday morning Apple Product naming bonanza:

BAR - NEB - EY¹

Somebody who can't spell my name is trying to hack into my Facebook account from the TA Office.

¹ An improvement from BARN - EB - EY, on the recommendation of wendyj.

Good Morning, Martin!

These are finally hanging in our apartment.

Tangled Up In Blue Sweater Vests

On January 23rd (significant for other reasons) I became eligible for Verizon's New Every Two program. I approached this opportunity with both excitement and trepidation. Phone decisions are hard; carriers, phones, plans, it's information overload. And of course there's the iAllure to deal with. I finally decided to go with the LG Dare/VX 9700 a.k.a 'It's Not Me, It's uPhone' [right], ending my long commitment to silver flip phones [below].

[Samsung a310 a.k.a. 'The Doorbell', c. 7/2003 - 5/2005]

[LG VX 8000 a.k.a. 'The Dancer', c. 5/2005 - 3/2007]

[LG VX 8700 a.k.a 'The Silver Nugget/The Celebrity Phone Twin', c. 3/2007 - 1/2009]

I'm a divided man at the moment [above]. Do I go with the new, the flashy, The Dare, and get into another 2 year contract? That's a long time to commit for a non-Apple product. Or do I stay with my Silver Nugget, living month to month until something else comes along? I have 27 days to decide.

# of Frames: 33

Pyck UR Cru: Presented by Randy Jackson

Beat Freaks 

Boxcuttuhz

Dynamic Edition

Fly Khicks 

G.O.P. Dance

Quest Crew 

Ringmasters

Strikers All-Stars 

Team Millennia

[Episode 1: Lil Mama goes funk-prep]

[Episode 2: My Lil Biker]

[Episode 3: Mamacita]

[Episode 4: Be sure to adjust your own mask before assisting others]

I hope you've been watching ABCD. Season 3 got started a couple of weeks ago and all I've been thinking about is how much I love having Lil Mama back in my life. I don't know why she's such a huge Beat Freaks Fan, or why she's not wearing her bedazzled baseball caps anymore, but her little nuggets of hard wisdom really make me want to bring it too. Also, I once received a text from Tommy on a Wednesday night that read simply:

Facts: Lil Mama's favorite Teletubby is Po, and she eats Fruity Pebbles every morning.

And I liked that too.

Not to worry if you've missed out so far, the full episodes are all online. Here's a quick run down of where we stand coming into week 5:

G.O.P. Dance  (i.e. Group of Peace Dance) - Just forget about these peaceniks now. Eliminated on the first show while trying to combine salsa and breakdance. It didn't work and they got sent back to the streets of Puerto Rico.

Boxcuttuhz - These guys win for both worst team name and worst girl dancer. That and the fact that they're a bad imitation of Kaba Modern didn't keep them around for long; the 2nd crew to pop, drop, and lock it into the the dance garage and talk to Layla Kayleigh about their post-ABDC futures.

Team Millennia - Fittingly, the 2nd worst team name and the next to feel the wrath of JC Chasez. Millennia? Really? You're the team of the entire millennia? Or did you just name yourselves sometime around 1999? Anyway, despite some good acrobatics the first week they landed in the bottom two two weeks running and their rendition of "Me Against The Music" finally got them the axe. Britney and Madonna had nothing to worry about from their ungainly cane twirling routine.

Ringmasters - the bonebreakin' Brooklyn crew lead by Nugget was set to be this years Status Quo. But with too many tricks and not enough dancing, BANG!, they're out too. I hope Lil Mama handled it ok. She broke down and started moaning about how hard they were representin' Brooklyn during the first show. That was awkward for everybody.

And that brings us to our 5 remaining crews:

Strikers All-Stars - a group of steppers from Florida A&M. Their "2 Legit 2 Quit" won me over this week.

Dynamic Edition - the cloggers from down home Alabama. They're the novelty act, and they're good. Just like Break Sk8, my favorite crew ever.

Fly Khicks - Former Miami Heat dancers. They almost went home in the 1st week but lately they've been bringing it. Mainly with they're asses and how much they shake them.

Beat Freaks - The Lady Breakers. Everyone's excited because they're girls. And they're not called Fysh N Chips. And one of them did a head spin. So what.

Qwest Crew - These guys fill out the required Asian Crew spot, but this time with an Asian with a British accent! They're Jabbawockeez good, and should probably win it. They did a move the 1st week where as D-Trix was flipping up from the floor, Ryan flipped over him while Hok was sliding backwards under him. Sick. And watch for the "shablam" in week 3. You'll like it.

Jobonga sent us a really powerful link this morning last night. It was meant to give us some new T shirt Tuesday ideas. I'm thinking the EX-hypocrite one might be for me, but this poem, "dedicated to those struggling with masturbation", also really spoke to me.
 

Restless.
Frustrated.
Frustrated with Myself.
I did it again.
Like a crack addict addicted to crack,
I am addicted to myself.
Seeking quick fixes.
Temporary highs with devastating lows.
Trying to satisfy the lust of my flesh,
With solo trips,
With solo voyages,
In darkness.
Despite disgust, guilt, shame, condemnation.
Knowing what I'm supposed to do,
Continuing to do what I'm not supposed to
Like Paul in Romans 7.
Justifying my sin because of the lesser consequences than fornication.

Postal Propaganda

Our apartment gets a surprising amount of right-wing mailings given our demographic surroundings, political affiliations, and personal beliefs. I came across a pile of some that I had been saving while cleaning today.

The out of focus background, the stark colors, the slightly askew headline... Terror, without ever actually saying anything.

I like this because of the implied timeline. The Weather Underground was apparently stopped in 1970 when that bomb exploded prematurely, even though the bombing of the Capitol, Pentagon, and NYC Police Headquarters they're talking about all happened after that, and then Ayers "became a friend, colleague, and supporter of Barack Obama." Despite Obama being 7 years old and living in Indonesia at the time.

That house isn't Obama's, and it doesn't seem to be the row house at 1329 E. 50th St. where Ayers lives. So whose house is it? Is it where their social circle meets? I don't get it.

I think I got this because I'm a member of the NRA. I can't decide if I'm glad the US Navy doesn't know that I've already earned a bachelor's degree or worried because they haven't figured it out yet.

An Afternoon Texting

I forgot to turn off my cellphone during my 12:05 section today. Halfway through my doorbell rang. It was David.


David (Feb 5, 12:21 pm): 

Seth Brennan is probably dating a slam pig.

Whitney (Feb 5, 12:58 pm): 

Do slam pigs date? I though they just got slammed.

David (Feb 5, 1:00 pm): 

Ok. Let me clarify. How about a retired slam pig?

Who'd you rather do, a slam pig or a retired slam pig?

6W in 500M

This morning I woke up at 8:15, sat down at my tall desk, and graded the homework for my 9:55 section. At 10:45 I walked over to Memorial Library, took the elevator up to 500M (above), and graded the homework for my 12:05 section. At 12:55 I walked over to Van Hise, found a seat in the 4th floor lounge, and graded the homework for my 2:25 section. I wish I had decided to help myself instead of goofing off in the stacks the whole time I was grading. Or by starting my grading before today.

# of Frames: 18

Last modified: July 18th, 2002

There are very few charms to the Windows 95 Operating System. The boot chime is ok, and I hear it plays a pretty good solitaire, but I'd take OS 8 anyday. Even so, I was sort of excited to find out what was holed up in this old school ThinkPad I found.

[Look how big that serial port is!]

It came with all the latest accessories:

a modem for the internets

CompuServe, AOL, MS-DOS

and as far as I can tell it was last accessed on or around the 18th of July, 2002. That was the day this 'untitled' doc was created:

Who wrote this? And why did they just leave it on the desktop? Or even, why weren;t they busy spectrogramming some sound files instead of spending time designing this rad geometric greeting card? I left an untitled_1 document of my own. I hope they still have webdings in 2016.

[Hello from 2009! Are the honeybees gone yet?]

As it turns out, this thing won't even be good for reading that pile of 3.5" floppies I found in a bottom drawer.